shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize