it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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