i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize