So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
