Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
