Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he thought i was a dude.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
