Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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