I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
