I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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