Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
