bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
