By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
