I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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