One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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