Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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