i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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