It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
did i walk over a car last night?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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