Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
