I cannot find my penis.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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