Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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