my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
