I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
