I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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