So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
