I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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