Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
