I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
