OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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