Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
