addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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