her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
