i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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