took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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