I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize