She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
