Do you still have your period?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
