It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
