Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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