That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
