mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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