1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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