I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have fence marks all over my body
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
