Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sext me about skeletons
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
