please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
