They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
