guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Boobs are out for the taking
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
