This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
