Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
