I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
how drunk are you?
Several
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
