Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
