You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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