went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize