you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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