I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
operation have a gay friend backfired
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
