I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
