Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
