she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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