There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
