just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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