If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
What a dumb baby whore.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
