can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Randomize
